Palma
New member
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2026
- Messages
- 5
Called my dad last night. He asked how school was going. I said "studying for finals." He said "oh, you have a test? Is it hard?"
A test. He called my organic chemistry final, which covers 15 weeks of material and determines whether I get into med school, a "test."
I love my dad. He works 60 hours a week at a body shop in Houston. He's never been to college. He genuinely doesn't understand that my "tests" are different from his experience. To him, a test is something you study for one night and then forget. He doesn't know about cumulative finals. About curves. About GPAs and med school requirements and the difference between an A- and a B+.
I tried to explain once. "It's like... imagine your most complicated repair job. The one with the German car that took three days to figure out. Now imagine that every day for two weeks, on material you barely understand, and your whole future depends on it."
He was quiet for a minute. Then he said "that sounds hard, mija."
That's all I needed. Not understanding. Just acknowledgment.
Here's what I've learned about surviving exams when your family doesn't get it:
Find people who do. My study group is all first-gen too. We don't have parents who check our syllabi or remind us about deadlines. We have each other. We share notes, share stress, share snacks during all-nighters.
Explain what you need. I told my dad "I might not call much during finals. It's not because I'm ignoring you. I'm just underwater." He texts me every night now. Just "
" or "
". Perfect. Enough.
Use UT resources. The Sanger Learning Center saved my GPA. Free tutoring. Free study groups. Free people who understand that "I don't get it" is the start of learning, not the end.
Remember why you're here. My parents don't understand my life. But they worked so I could have it. That thought gets me through 3 AM study sessions.
It's lonely sometimes, being first-gen. But it's also powerful. We're doing something our families couldn't. That matters.
A test. He called my organic chemistry final, which covers 15 weeks of material and determines whether I get into med school, a "test."
I love my dad. He works 60 hours a week at a body shop in Houston. He's never been to college. He genuinely doesn't understand that my "tests" are different from his experience. To him, a test is something you study for one night and then forget. He doesn't know about cumulative finals. About curves. About GPAs and med school requirements and the difference between an A- and a B+.
I tried to explain once. "It's like... imagine your most complicated repair job. The one with the German car that took three days to figure out. Now imagine that every day for two weeks, on material you barely understand, and your whole future depends on it."
He was quiet for a minute. Then he said "that sounds hard, mija."
That's all I needed. Not understanding. Just acknowledgment.
Here's what I've learned about surviving exams when your family doesn't get it:
Find people who do. My study group is all first-gen too. We don't have parents who check our syllabi or remind us about deadlines. We have each other. We share notes, share stress, share snacks during all-nighters.
Explain what you need. I told my dad "I might not call much during finals. It's not because I'm ignoring you. I'm just underwater." He texts me every night now. Just "
" or "". Perfect. Enough.Use UT resources. The Sanger Learning Center saved my GPA. Free tutoring. Free study groups. Free people who understand that "I don't get it" is the start of learning, not the end.
Remember why you're here. My parents don't understand my life. But they worked so I could have it. That thought gets me through 3 AM study sessions.
It's lonely sometimes, being first-gen. But it's also powerful. We're doing something our families couldn't. That matters.